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Mountain of Insecurities, Stream of Impossibilities....

Updated: Jun 25, 2021

When sifting through some of the work that TC did in the past, I came across images from our time spent with young ladies from G.E.T. (Living Proof Recovery Center). I began to think about how little our youth know about culture not only the culture of their peers, but also their own. We spent about an hour sharing some really interesting information about the holiday, Ramadan, as we were approaching the end and moving into a time where Muslims all over the world would celebrate for up to three days after fasting for 30.

During this talk, I was impressed by the young ladies who participated in the group; the questions, their curiosity and most of all their spirits. These young ladies were a sure reminder (to me) that all is not lost. With all that is going on in this world, in this country, we still have a large number of young people with a spirit of survival, wanting to be successful, wanting to be 'good' and do 'good'. There are still so many of them seeking guidance, looking for someone to point them in the right direction; someone who will help them climb over the mountain of insecurities, and cross the stream of impossibilities. It is because of young people, like those in the images you see, that TC will continue to work hard at fulfilling our person, one family, one community at a time. We are confident that our youth will master excellence!

It takes a village! Enjoy today!

​Tomaro Monique

Self-esteem is one major key to becoming a successful individual, regardless of how one determines success. Whether or not one has high or low self-esteem will pretty much determine how far they will go in life. Those with higher self-esteem will, more than likely be more successful than those with low self-esteem. Recognizing the level of one’s self-esteem is pretty easy. Have the person (or yourself) answer the following questions, a) how do you feel about yourself; b) what type of behavior do you display when you are in public and/or associating with others; and c) how well do you take care of yourself (eating, exercise, hygiene, etc.)?

Some examples of people with high self-esteem include, a) acting independently; b) taking responsibility for their actions; c) taking pride in setting and reaching goals; d) welcoming new tasks; e) willing to help others, especially without wanting anything in return; and f) behaving positive in negative situations.

Assertiveness is a healthy way of communicating as it allows us speak up about things that may or may not be good or helpful to us. This can be important in all aspects of our lives including school, work & at home.

Assertiveness is something that we all have to work on, constantly. What is most important for us to learn is how to use our assertiveness. Sometimes we can be too assertive (mean, demanding, etc.) and other times we can be under-assertive (think I just made up that word…lol) (too quiet, allowing others to do what they want to us, finding ourselves in situations we are not happy about, etc.). Being assertive in a positive way, meeting in the middle of overly assertive and under-assertive. Examples may include a) giving an opinion or saying how you feel; b) asking for what you want; c) being able to respectfully disagree with others; d) speaking up about ideas and suggestions, even if others may not want to hear them or agree; e) saying NO without feeling guilty; and speaking up for others.

Difference between inner/outer beauty is pretty obvious. Inner beauty is how we feel internally, which ultimately reflects how we look, behave and treat others; whereas outer beauty strictly refers to what others can see (our hair, the way we dress, our weight, our height, and so on). Unfortunately, many people take a look at others and allow their appearance to determine whether or not they will have anything to do with them, and if they do build relationships with them their outer beauty may determine what kind of relationship they have with them. Inner beauty is extremely important! Much more important than outer beauty! Physical appearance may be important to many, but I must be honest with you…someone can be the most beautiful woman in the world (according to what society deems as beautiful) but as soon as they open your mouth, you can become so, so ugly! I know you’ve met at least one person like this. Not only should one work on their inner-self, focusing on trying to build their inner beauty but one should also base their relationships on inner beauty. Sell your inner beauty to others, and look for people whose inner self screams beauty! Doing this will almost all the time guarantee wonderful relationships!

Self-care very, very important to our overall well-being. People in your circle may criticize you for self-care; they may think that you are selfish. However, without taking care of “self” then you risk “self”. Self-care takes practice and continued effort; without it we risk our physical and mental health, and the possibility of having healthy relationships with others. You can start practicing self-care by creating a self-care plan. Some things to focus on include, a) school/work – engage in regular supervision, positive peer interaction, develop and stick to strict boundaries with peers, and develop knowledge in subjects/professional field; b) physical self-care – exercise regime, regular/enough sleep, healthy eating, rest/breaks at school or work, vacation; c) psychological self-care – keep a reflective journal, hobbies, take time for yourself, hang out with friends/family; d) emotional self-care – supportive friendships, reflect on good things you’ve done throughout the day, again…hang out with friends & don’t forget to take time for yourself; spiritual self-care – meditate, pray, exercise, reflect with friends and/or social/spiritual groups, read/journal; and relationship self-care – prioritize relationships with friends & families, form and nurture professional relationships (school/work). If you take a good look at all of the topics listed, then you will see that they all play a role in one another. You can’t have high self-esteem if you do not practice self-care, or if you do not consider and build your inner beauty. You can’t build on your inner beauty if you don’t practice self-care which helps to increase your self-esteem. You get the picture! So please….if there is not enough information here, then research each topic. As previously mentioned, share this with the young ladies in your life. It can be a great “injection” of knowledge; and just may be what they need to set them on a path of building a solid foundation as they move into womanhood. A life today, a nation tomorrow…. ​Enjoy today! Mrs. Tomaro Monique

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